I've been feeling pretty discouraged lately. Some of it, odd as it sounds, is the weird weather. It's December; it's supposed to be snowing and cold, not spurts of warm-ish and cold-ish weather, with no snow but lots of rain. We live in upstate NY!
Then there's just been a lot of example lately, right in my face, some involving me in the middle of controversies I really wanted nothing to do with, of people's selfishness and unkindness. Yech.
And it doesn't help that we are trying not to be anxious as we wait to hear back from Carl's interview two weeks ago, to find out if we'll be moving halfway across the country in a couple of months or not.
So to combat this discouragement, I've been trying to focus on the good. Thinking about the people who helped to bring resolution to the above-mentioned controversy. Smiling at friends who have sent me notes or videos of encouragement on Twitter after I mention my discouragement. Making popcorn before noon for my littles, just because. Scheduling an appointment to get my hair CHOPPED OFF this weekend, just because I've been wanting to go short again for a while.
And trying to figure out good books to read to help fight feelings that the human race is made up of jerks.
A Ring of Endless Light, by Madeline L'Engle, is top of that list. Unfortunately, I don't own it, and can't order it in e-book form, so I can't read that until I get out to the library again.
Anne of Green Gables is always, always on that list, as are any of the books in that series, especially the first three. Wives & Daughters, by Elizabeth Gaskell, is one that always makes me smile. Emily of Deep Valley, by Maud Hart Lovelace, is a story I deeply love for its exploration of a girl whose dreams are thwarted by circumstance, and yet finds ways to shape those very circumstances to develop those dreams even better - AND it dares to have her fall in love with someone who is NOT her initial love interest at the beginning of the story. Shocking!
And I might re-read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, just because I love it so. Same with Lloyd Alexander's The Arkadians, or any of his books that I own.
And then there's Gaudy Night or Busman's Honeymoon, or any story featuring my beloved Lord Peter.
Wow, just listing these books off is making me feel better and more hopeful.
What are the books you turn to in order stave off discouragement and remind you of the joy and hope that does exist in this world, and in people?
I am sorry that you are down. I am very sorry to hear that you are in the middle of unpleasantness. That always feels soul destroying and it is so depressing and degrading. Uncertainty about where you will be is also very stressful.
ReplyDeleteI will frequently pick up His Majesty's Dragon or the happy parts of any Bujold, in particular, Paladin of Souls, which is about a middle aged woman, with a grown daughter and dead son, husband, and mother, who finds a new spiritual, romantic, and political calling. Oddly, I read the happy parts of Anne McCafferty's Harper series -- the first two books, Dragonsong and Dragonsinger. I watch Star Wars on the DVD or Planet Earth and play the Discovery Channel Boom De Yada song. I watch the charge of the Rohirrim across the Pelennor Fields with its soaring Howard Shore score and Gandalf's message to Frodo in the dark of Moria, "so do all who live to see such times..." I watch the making of DVD on the Horses of Middle Earth.
Sometimes I go back and read something I've written that I've liked that is happy or funny. I read some of the feedback from insightful and lovely people who I am blessed to know even if only virtually. I post something on my LJ so that the connectivity with my virtual world occurs. These are all important to me because my real life is pretty stressful, aggravating, and hmmm, well, yes, lonely. I walk the dog and listen to the Doctor Who soundtrack and run a 10K. I bake cookies and eat a chocolate bar -- I just finished a Snickers Peanut Butter Square bar. I take a nap.
May you be comforted my friend during this difficult time. I would note that the belief that everyone is happy at the holidays is something of a myth. Some people thrive on it but others do not. I've already walked one person very close to me through a bout of depression that always rears its head at the holidays and I know others who are in very tough places now. I am not saying that you are any such thing, of course, but only that these are hard times in part because we feel this expectation to be joyful and sometimes things conspire to deprive us of that.
This is rthstewart, by the way, and for some reason, it's not letting me post. silly thing. And I may have hit the public button too many times. Ooops.
So sorry to hear you've been discouraged. On another note, I didn't know you were in Upstate NY. I lived there as a child (in Schenectady.) I love A RING OF ENDLESS LIGHT and pretty much everything by Madeline L'Engle. I'm reading WALKING ON WATER right now, which a collection of her essays on writing and faith. It's wonderfully inspiring! Hope you have a better week this week!
ReplyDeleteYou know how the other day I Tweeted that I suddenly had a burning need to read Diana Wynne Jones again and you wrote back that I needed to hurry and grab my favorites STAT or something of that nature? And I nearly wrote back saying that I REALLY needed to lose myself in something by her I'd NEVER READ BEFORE; but since I couldn't, I ended up going home and grabbing Howl's Moving Castle off the shelf anyway, and it's proved itself a perfect comfort read this week. Which I feel marginally guilty about because I have a huge stack of new library books to not-get-around-to-reading, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ring of Endless Light. I intend to devote an entire post to that sometime next year after I run out of posts that tie directly into A Wrinkle In Time...! Which reminds me that I need to reread THAT to prepare for my obsessive 50th anniversary blog series which will be starting in just a couple of weeks!
Sorry you've been down. Stress is the worst thing, and the stress of moving is just aweful. I'm sure that whatever happens, things will turn out well, though.
ReplyDeleteI always read Persuasion when I'm sick. I don't know why, but I do.
Ruth - thanks for the ideas for encouragement. I did find a good book, and I ate some chocolate, and I came back here to re-read the encouragement and understanding from friends, and yesterday my dad's cousin sent me the family recipe for Christmas cookies, which made my whole day brighter because this year especially, I just wanted to make Grandma's cookies, and THEN my aunt took a picture of the original recipe handwritten by Grandma and sent that to me, and all around I felt wrapped in a warm hug. So it's been good.
ReplyDeleteI've never read anything by Bujold, but I checked out her books and they look both charming and thought-provoking, so they have been promptly placed on my "to-read" list.
Kirsten - I've had several people suggest to me that I read some of L'Engle's nonfiction; everyone I talk to who has read them says her essays are fabulous. I never really liked her writing style when I was a kid (I don't think I actually ever made it all the way through any of her books, just read bits and pieces and decided she was too metaphysical for my taste) (although weirdly enough I liked Jane Langton's books, which were WAY more metaphysical, so who knows what was my issue back then), but I find coming to them from a more mature perspective has me appreciating and savoring them far more than most YA or MG fantasy/sci-fi books,
Rockinlibrarian - I have been thinking that your 50th anniversary celebration for A Wrinkle In Time is the PERFECT excuse for me to read through (and most likely purchase, because duh, I need these in my personal library, especially if we're going to be moving all the time and never knowing what books our new libraries will have) the entire Time Quintet, and get through all the Austin books, too. I like Meg, but Vicky really resonates with me.
I ended up, with all the books I mentioned on this post, actually reading The Merlin Conspiracy for the first time, which while it wasn't exactly a comfort read it did definitely draw me in and take me out of myself for a time, which was great, and now I want to read the first book of the Magid series, although, like I said on Twitter, I kept really, really hoping someone was just going to say, "This is too big of a mess for us. We need to call Chrestomanci!" Because that would have been FUN.
Olene - We moved to our current house just a few months ago, back in August, so we still have all our boxes in the basement and the actual packing wouldn't be too bad. It's just the uncertainty right now - WILL they make him a job offer or WON'T they, and if they do, will it be an offer he can take? And we really, really want to move, which is why he applied for this job in the first place, so that's just making us more twitchy.
Persuasion is a great sick-read. I actually just finished reading it a few weeks ago, or else I would have added it to my list of comfort reads, too!
*HUGS* I'm sorry you've been discouraged!
ReplyDeleteOh, BOOKS! Chronicles of Narnia are always fantastic when in need of a boost. Ella Enchanted, because I so love fairy tales. I love Lloyd Alexander's Prydain Chronicles, too. I love books that can take me through all sorts of emotional upheavals but leave me feeling hopeful at the end. It's the kind of stuff I like to write--the light at the end of the tunnel (even when the tunnel is pretty awful sometimes). I hope you've been reading some uplifting stuff and that you're feeling a little better this weekend!
I was born in upstate New York and lived on a dairy farm there until I was eleven. Since then, I've lived in big cities. After half my life in the south, I consider myself way more of a southerner. Where are you looking at moving to?
Thanks for the hug, Laura! Narnia, Prydain, Frell ... all wonderful lands to visit when down.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's grandparents were dairy farmers for years and years - when my mom found a milk bottle from the Whitmore Dairy in an antique shop and bought it for him last Christmas, it was the best present ever. I always loved hearing his stories of the farm!
We are hoping to move to Chicago - it's where the school is where my husband wants to do his graduate work. He's not quite at the place where he can go back to school yet, though, so a job to move us out there would be the perfect solution - we'd get to get settled and already be there in a year or so when he's ready to go back to school. We are praying something opens up out there!