The Rules

I was reading The Secret Adversary for about the millionth time this weekend, and when I got to the part where Tommy acted completely out of character, I had to stop and ponder it for a few moments.

James Warwick as Tommy Beresford

I love that part. It's one of my favorites. Sober, steady, practical Tommy acts completely impulsively, and it's way better than if the same action was taken by Tuppence, who is KNOWN for her impulsiveness.

Now, most of the time, when a character does something completely foreign to their personality, it drives me nuts. So why does it work so well for Tommy?

I think it's because Christie, as the narrator (she's not quite an omniscient narrator in this one, but it's definitely not a tight third-person POV) acknowledges that he's acting OOC, and so does Tommy himself. I also think it's because it really does happen, in real life, that the predictable steady people DO occasionally get wild impulses, and give into them without understanding the why or the how of it. So even though it's OOC, it's still believable, and it makes for a great scene, and builds up to some that are even better.

I like reading authors like Christie, who wrote before the era of "Rules for Writing," and wouldn't have cared a fig for them if she did (she scatters adverbs wildly) (haha - get it? Wildly? OK, I'm done). She wrote according to her own internal rules, and she never broke them, and it shows.

I break a lot of the so-called Rules in my own writing. But I have a set of my own rules, and the few times I've tried (guiltily) to break them, it makes a mess. And sometimes when I start to fret about The Rules, I remind myself of Christie, and then I feel better. Not that I'm the genius she was! But like her, my rules are more important to follow than The Rules.

As long as you understand what you're doing and why, and you are doing it deliberately, I think The Rules should go out the window.

Where do you stand on the matter?

April, May, Tulips, and Writing

I hope you all has a wonderful Easter! We did; my husband's family came out for the weekend, and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time together, filling and hiding plastic eggs for the kids to hunt on Sunday after church, and eating all the food I could keep coming out of my kitchen. We were a surprisingly hungry bunch this weekend!

As much as I loved having family out, and visiting them in our turn, I must confess to a sneaking sense of relief and freedom as we enter the month of April. Why? Because we have NOTHING planned. No trips, no people coming out to see us, nothing. Just living.

Now, I have learned in the last almost-decade of my married life that this is usually when life decides to laugh heartily at our expense and whack us on the nose with a broomstick. So I'm fully expecting Things to Happen. Even so, I'm reveling in the illusion of freedom right now.

We can finally start following our schedule! I can finish sewing the kids' spring clothes! I can get more writing done! We'll be able to do more than two days of school in a week! I can keep practicing driving so as to be more comfortable behind the wheel by the time we move! Carl and I can work together on the weekends to sort, organize, and pack boxes so that I don't get completely overwhelmed by it all the week before we move!

(I am so laughing at myself even as I type this. This is NOT going to happen.)

Also of excitement to me are two things happening in May (in the merry, merry month of May ...). One: my mother is getting her Master's! We're going up north for her graduation ceremony, and THEN we're going just a little further north to go to the Tulip Festival in Ottawa, Canada.

This was an excursion we made most years when I was a kid, and Carl and I have wanted to go up every year since we were dating, and never made it. This year I said since we were already going to be so close (my parents live just south of the US-Canada border) at the right time of year, we WERE going to go. And so we are making sure our passports are up to date and GOING. I can't wait. The girls are going to be blown away by so many tulips in one place, and downtown Ottawa is always worth a visit even without the flowers. Hurrah!

The second thing will actually happen before the first (confused yet?). For Mother's Day weekend, happening before my mom's graduation, Carl is going to take the kids to visit his mom. Where will I be during this? I'm SO glad you asked. I will be having a couple days entirely to myself. Not Here. Not at home, surrounded by all the Things I need to do every day, mocking me whenever I take the time to write. Not at his mother's, where I still have to be mommy and wife (and daughter-in-law) even though we aren't home. They are going to drop me off somewhere between our house and his mother's, and I will have a real-live solo writing retreat. It's my (belated)birthday present/(current)Mother's Day present/(future)keeping everything functioning while Carl's in seminary present.

So, any recommendations for a good place to stay in the Berkshires or southern Vermont for a solo writing retreat with no car?

And how is April looking for you?

Ever been to the Tulip Festival in Ottawa?

Did you have a nice Easter?

(A picture from last spring, taken at a park here in our city. Now imagine that, plus thousands more. THAT'S what it will be like in Ottawa.)

Overcoming Adversity Launch Day

It's the Overcoming Adversity Anthology launch day!

Cover design by DR Cartwright, from a concept by Ella Wilson

Blurb:

A collection of seventy moving and uplifting original pieces - real life, flash fiction, and poetry - about battling against the odds and the ultimate triumph of the human spirit. The contributors include Amazon bestselling authors Alex J. Cavanaugh and Kyra Lennon, and the cream of upcoming talent.

The anthology is part of a fundraising effort to send the editor's stepson, Andrew McNaughton, to a specialist college in England. Andrew has cerebral palsy, and is a remarkable young man with a promising future. However, the free further education options offered in his own country of Scotland will not challenge him and allow him to progress. In order to access the education he deserves, Andrew will have to pay exorbitant fees, thus creating a situation of discrimination.

Help us get Andrew to college by buying a book that runs the full gamut of human emotions, ultimately leaving you inspired and glad to be alive. Whatever struggles you are going through, our sincere hope is that this book will help.

Purchase Links:

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Adversity-Anthology-Andrew-ebook/dp/B00BM62EZA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362210101&sr=8-1

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Adversity-Anthology-Andrew-ebook/dp/B00BM62EZA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362210134&sr=8-1&keywords=nick+wilford

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/290822

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17452314-overcoming-adversity

(Paperback coming soon)

Editor Bio: Nick Wilford is a writer and stay-at-home dad. Once a journalist, he now makes use of those rare times when the house is quiet to explore the realms of fiction. When not writing he can usually be found spending time with his family or cleaning something. He has four short stories published in Writer’s Muse magazine. Nick is also co-running a campaign to get a dedicated specialist college built in Scotland. Visit him at http://nickwilford.blogspot.co.uk/.

~ * ~

It was such a privilege to be able to participate in this anthology. The poem I wrote, Memory, ended up being really special to me, and a chance to honor my grandparents. Thank you for this opportunity, Nick, and I hope it succeeds even beyond everyone's wildest dreams!

Now, faithful blog readers, go forth and buy!

Titles

As many of you know, the working title for my current MS is Magic & Mayhem. I love the alliteration, the way it gives a sense of being a historical novel (tying in with books such as Sense & Sensibility or Pride & Prejudice, for example), and that it conveys the idea of what's happening in the book without giving anything away. Perfect title, right?

Except. All of the sudden lately, I've been seeing a flood of blank & blank titles all over the place. And if there's one thing I hate, it's looking like I'm following a trend (see my other post where I mention my annoyance with many of the similarities between the Crawley sisters and my protagonist's family - I swear, I wrote mine before I ever even heard of Downton Abbey!). Not just because of hipster tendencies, but because I don't want to give a false impression of my book. As a story, it doesn't fit neatly into any genre or follow any current trends. So I would hate to lure somebody in by the title, only to have them irritated when the story reads so differently from other similarly-titled works.

So the question becomes, do I hope that by the time I have this edited, edited again, proofread, formatted, and finally published, that the blank & blank titles are less popular? Except I'm shooting for a late spring, early summer publication, even with all the work that needs to be done, so that really isn't a lot of time. Do I hope that people will be amused by the subtle Jane Austen/Elizabeth Gaskell reference and miss out on the other, more popular new titles that follow that path?

Or do I go for a different title altogether? I had been playing around with a few ideas before settling on Magic & Mayhem:

Murder of a Manservant (excuse me while I fall asleep)

Of Magic and Men (except that it's equally about men and women, and "Magic and Humankind" really sounds dull)

A Magical Mystery (booooring!)

Magical Mayhem (not bad. But not tremendously riveting)

In thinking about it just recently, as well as perusing old Victorian and Regency novel titles, I've come up with a few more:

Murder at Little Oaks (sounds like Nancy Drew - now, Nancy meets magic WOULD be a fun idea to explore sometime, but that's not this story)

The Portland Papers (since much of the story's plot revolves around needing to recover stolen papers, this one isn't too bad. I don't like that it doesn't give any hint of the magic, though.)

The Apprentice (possible, since my protagonist is a magic apprentice. Still kind of dullsville, though.)

Such Stuff as Dreams (not bad - it is Shakespeare, after all, who also provided the title for one of my short stories, so there's some continuity there. It is a little vague, though.)

Sigh. Maybe I should just hire someone to title my books for me ...

Quick! Grace! Write out a title for Mummy's book!

Magic & Mayhem, Background

I am mostly writing this to help me remember. My brain is terrible at holding onto these details.

In the spring of 2011, I was querying my completed MG fantasy, and researching and outlining a YA fantasy, as well as working on a children's fantasy. Plenty of projects, especially when one considers that I had two toddlers at the time, one with whom I was starting preschool at home, the other of whom was potty-training.

And yet ... I hated all my projects. Every time I re-read them, they seemed grimmer and more bleak. I have never been a dark writer, and I couldn't figure out why what I was writing was so gloomy (I did find out soon afterward that I was on my way to a nervous breakdown, and though I was never diagnosed officially, I'm pretty sure I also had a mild case of depression - if not that, then at least severe despondency).

So one night, I tossed aside all my projects. Put away my research books. And I decided to write something for sheer fun, without even caring if it got published or not.

I've always adored Tommy and Tuppence (Agatha Christie's creations), and any other male-and-female teams of adventurers/mystery solvers. Kate and Thomas, Cecy and James from Wrede and Stevermer's Regency fantasy series also come to mind.

I decided to write an adventure story set in the 1920s, mostly because (thanks to LM Montgomery and her Rilla of Ingleside) I've always been fascinated by WWI and especially the between-war period. It would have to be in England, of course, because anything that an Anglophile writes for fun is going to be set in Great Britain. And just for some extra amusement, I'd throw magic into the mix. I knew I wanted a gentleman-and-lady team, like Tommy and Tuppence, except I wanted the lady to be the steady, practical one, and the gentleman to be the one who worked more off his impulses and instincts. I love turning tropes on their heads.

I had a few false starts, but eventually my characters and I came to an agreement about their personalities and roles, and the story sprang to life under my fingers. I set aside the research for that YA fantasy. I put the finished MG fantasy aside to look at and revise at a later time. I forgot completely about the children's fantasy.

Most importantly, I had fun. I remembered why I loved writing. I even bought the first season of Downton Abbey (I had steadfastly resisted getting sucked in up to that point) as "background research," and was hugely amused and somewhat miffed at some of the parallels between those characters and mine.

Maia and Len and all the rest took over my writing life. And I did not resist. The story that I started just for fun, with no thought of eventual publication, eventually became the story I am planning on publishing this spring or summer, whenever I finish the last bit of polishing. It spurred me to write If This Be Magic & The Traitor and the Spy, two short stories set in the same universe but featuring different characters.

Just a few short weeks ago, I sat down to do something else entirely, and suddenly the entire plot for a prequel unrolled in my brain. I frantically scribbled down the outline and started working - again, just for fun! - on a rough draft of that. That story is now spurring me to hurry up and finish editing Maia and Len's current tale so I can work undisturbed on that one.

And just recently, I've started thinking about those three abandoned stories again, and wondering if I can give them another shot, make something less-grim of them.

The moral of this story is obvious - write for love, not for business. But I'm not recording it here as a moralistic warning to myself or anyone else. I'm writing it because it inspires me, that my best work to date sprang from writing for pure pleasure, and it helped to bring joy back into my life when I was in a very dark place. Just as the darkness in my personal life had been affecting my writing, when I started writing determined to just love it, that bled over into my personal life, and helped to bring me through that bleak tunnel.

I'm not even going to attempt sending Magic & Mayhem, Maia and Len's tale, to a traditional publisher. Everything about this story has been personal, and I think the publishing part of it should be as well. I'm going to have it professionally edited, of course! But I'm not going to risk losing some of its joy by dealing with queries, rejections, changes, frustrations, and all the rest involved in traditional publishing.

An unprofessional decision? Yeah, probably. But being unprofessional was what brought this book to life. I'm not going to change that now. I have an entire career ahead of me to be professional in. I think I can afford to indulge my whims a little right now, before that career takes off.

Maia and Len are utterly unconventional. Their creator ought to be, as well.

Year's End

I always enjoy reading year's-end posts from others. So I decided to put one together on the chance that others enjoy reading them, too! Without further ado, here are some of my favorite posts from this blog in 2012.

This post on rituals, from February, is still one of my favorites from the year. I like its quiet thoughtfulness.

My April post on destiny still resonates with me. I need the reminder, still, to not get bogged down in fatalistic negativity.

I wrote a tribute to Lloyd Alexander in May. It's mostly quotes from his writings, so you know it's good.

This post on why I write, done in July, is honestly probably one of my favorite things that I've ever written. Honest truth, and a reminder to myself to keep aiming high. The comments still uplift me every time I re-read them, too.

I had fun with using scrambled eggs as a metaphor for writing styles in August. Includes some highly amusing pictures of bread loaves that didn't work.

This post on being French, from September, remains one of my most popular EVER.

I wrote a tribute to my grandmother on the one-year anniversary of her death in October. My hope is that it gives comfort to others who have lost beloveds to Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia.

In December, life got heavy. So I wrote about choosing joy, light, and love.

2012 was a good year for this family. It was a year of rest and healing (emotional and spiritual), a year of preparing for some big changes coming up in 2013. Carl has been accepted to his grad school of choice, which means that we will be moving sometime in the next six months, and starting a new adventure - taking the first steps on a new path that is still mostly in shadow. Exciting and nerve-wracking all at once.

As for me, I turned thirty, started taking ice dance lessons after twelve years off the ice, began homeschooling the kids, and published my first stories.

It was a good year.

2013 promises to be even better.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.  -J.R.R. Tolkien

Holding it in My Hands

My posting schedule is all off these days. It's not likely to get any better with the approaching holidays, either. Ah well, I just try to roll with it.

I've had far more frustrations with publishing If This Be Magic & The Traitor and the Spy (henceforth referred to as Magic & Traitor, because I'm too lazy to type out the whole thing every time) than I did with Justice's Mask. Smashwords didn't like some of my formatting, both for the cover and the interior. I was able to fix some, but not all, of the supposed problems, and decided the others weren't worth fussing about.

The headaches with working through Createspace for print and Kindle were mostly due to me not having used it before (I didn't bother with a print edition for JM), so I won't mention them here. I worked through them, at any rate. The only current frustration is that the Kindle edition somehow keeps coming up as written by "E Bates" while the print is by "E L Bates" and I can't put the "L" in the Kindle where it should be! And I'm guessing that's the reason why they keep showing up as different publications, instead of two different editions of the same book.

I just keep reminding myself that this is one of the major reasons I wanted to try publishing short stories first - to get a feel for how all of this works, to figure out potential problems and address them now, so that when I publish my novel, it'll go more smoothly.

So I'm trying to roll with all this, too.

And this happened yesterday, which made me tear up and forgive all the (literal and metaphorical) headaches.

A box was dropped off at my front door, and I opened it up to find these beauties inside.

I have been dreaming of holding my own book in my own hands since I was a little girl. And yesterday, it really happened. And it was just as magical as I'd always expected.

I'm even more excited to finish editing Magic & Mayhem now and move toward publishing that. Holding these slim copies of my own short stories bound and published makes me so, so excited to hold my own novel.

I have updated my "What Does She Write?" page with links to where you can purchase JM and Magic & Traitor, just so I don't have to keep inundating you all with links to them in every post. After all, that's kind of the point of a "What Does She Write" page to begin with, isn't it?

New Book!

Just in time for the holidays!

My cover designer finished the cover for my short story collection (can I call it a collection if it's just two stories? And if not, what SHOULD I be calling it? Seriously, this has been driving me nuts. A duology? But they aren't connected to each other, just similarly-themed) a couple months sooner than I was expecting. The stories themselves have been ready to go for ages, so all I had to do was fix up a little bit of formatting, and voila! Just in time to add to your Christmas wish list:

If This Be Magic & The Traitor and the Spy, available now at Smashwords and Amazon, and soon to be available in print.

Here's the blurb for If This Be Magic:

As if being the worst student at Miss Cranston's Select Seminary for the Study of Sorcery weren't bad enough, now sixteen-year-old Sophie Abbott suspects her uncle, the most respected magician in Boston, of secretly working for the Kaiser. The year is 1915, and though America isn't in the war yet, Sophie can't sit by and do nothing. Before long, she and Uncle Edward's apprentice Owen are deep in danger and treachery, and Sophie's unique ability to see magic as a spiderweb of spells might be the only thing that can save them. Time is running short and Owen's life is in her hands. Every spell she has ever attempted has failed spectacularly - can Sophie trust her magic now?

And for The Traitor and the Spy:

Philomena Stirling-Vane is fourteen years old in Victorian England, and in the unhappy position of having accidentally inherited the family magic. Her father is outraged, and her mother nearly prostrate with grief over the unhappy prospect of a lady magician in the family. When Jonathan Kempson, Mr Stirling-Vane's former apprentice, requires another magician's assistance to track down a traitor to the Council of Magicians, Phil sees her chance. Disguised as her brother, she accompanies Mr Kempson to London, where they must overcome their mutual dislike and learn to work together to unweave the tapestry of deception laid around them.

I was immensely proud of Justice's Mask, and still am, but these two are even closer to my heart. They are fantasy, for one, which is my first and best love. They also both have a great deal more humor than Justice's Mask, and while the more serious tone fits JM, I really do prefer to keep a more light-hearted tone when I can.

They are also set in the same world, though different eras, as my forthcoming novel Magic & Mayhem (I am aiming for a summer publication - we'll see). This is my first attempt at playing with different stories and different characters in the same fantasy world, and it's been so much fun.

Also, the cover. Isn't that just gorgeous? I am so in love with it. It was created by Kathryn Jonell, and I highly recommend her work for anyone looking for a cover designer.

I have two more short stories and a novella from my summertime non-novel writing. I'm not sure when or how I'll publish those, but for right now, I am so, so pleased with the three I've already published.

I hope you all enjoy them as much as I do!

The Joy of the Library

Thank you all for your encouragement on my last post! I did get out my journal (and my fancy pens that I bought for art and then never used because I haven't started the art book yet) the other day, but I haven't written in it yet. Mainly because I started a new writing project (I am calling it Jane Austen meets Alias meets Diana Wynne Jones, which gives you a glimpse into how my brain works) and am having too much fun with that to try anything else.

Carl and the kids dropped me off at the library Friday late afternoon, and after wandering around for twenty minutes in a blissful daze about being able to pick out books without distraction, I meandered to the back, sat at a table, pulled out my laptop, and wrote.

Aside from the one tutor who breezed through the DESIGNATED QUIET AREA (seriously, there are signs!) talking at the top of his voice to his clearly not-hearing-impaired student, it was bliss. Forty minutes of quiet writing time, no one needing me, no guilt over the household chores staring at me, no need to hop right up and get supper started, nothing.

So I wrote, and I plotted, and I looked up the differences in address as regards a contessa vs a countess, and I wrote some more, and finally I got up with a happy sigh, checked my books out, went into the foyer, called Carl, and talked him through the last few steps of supper prep (basically: "Stir, turn the oven off, leave the dish covered."). Then he and the littles came back for me, we went home, and ate the dinner that I'd started before I left and Carl finished. It was delicious, by the way. Lentils and rice!

We are definitely attempting to make this a weekly thing. Coffee shops are fun, but a quiet (or MOSTLY QUIET yes I'm talking to you obnoxious tutor who was supposed to be in the teen room anyway) library with all sorts of wonderful resources (not just the internet!) at my fingertips is far better for me. And it gets me out of the house, and even one hour of not having to be "mommy" is wonderful.

I love libraries, always have, ever since I was very young and enthralled by the one row of picture books at our local library (it was teensy-tiny, for a teensy-tiny town, but far better stocked than you might think). Library nights were the highlight of the week for our family for years: Dad would get home from work, we'd all pile in the car and drive to the library (the one night it was open late), browse for a while, check out an enormous stack of books apiece, stop at the gas station on the way home for soda (or Clearly Canadian - Mountain Blackberry was the BEST) and chocolate bars, then go home, Dad would make popcorn, and we'd all sit in the living room with our books and snacks, and read until bedtime.

The first thing I do in every new town we move to is find the local library. Sometimes the local library sucks and we have to go further afield to find the best one for us. We've been lucky these last two moves - we've ended up only five minutes away from a wonderful library each time.

The big excitement for Joy when she turned five was that she could finally get her own library card. Both the girls love going to the library, admittedly for the toys as well as the books, but also for the thrill of SO MANY books in one place, and all for the reading of anyone who wants. It really is a wonderful thing, when you think about it.

So it makes sense, for me, that the library would bring a sense of peace to my soul when I go there to write, that it would feel just right, comfortable and natural in a way that no other place can quite match. I'm already eagerly anticipating my next writing visit there.

Maybe this week I'll get around to attempting some poetry.

Where is your favorite out-of-the-house place to write?

Joy signing her name for the library card

Enthralled in a book that she checked out all by her very own self!

Poetry of Life

I am not a poet. I shouldn't really have to say that on here, should I? If you've read even a few of my posts, you'd know that I have a very conversational style in my writing; I write as I talk, and I am not a poet in my conversations, either.

Most of the time that doesn't bother me. I'm not much on reading poetry, either. I memorized the first few stanzas of Sir Walter Scott's "The Lady of the Lake" when I was a kid, and I gained some appreciation for Emily Dickinson in my freshman creative writing class in college, and I struggle to appreciate John Donne because of my abiding love for Lord Peter Wimsey, but really? Poetry is a closed book to me. I can scratch together a few lines for a Christmas present for a family member, or put together a little poem to hang next to a baby picture on my littles' bedroom wall, but using poetry to express my innermost feelings? Not gonna happen.

And then I read people who write prose so beautifully that it reads like poetry, those blog posts that dig into my heart, those words accompanying a recipe in a cookbook that make me want to bury my hands in flour and build a legacy, those lines in a book that shine a light on feelings that have been obscure even to me. And I wish (oh how I wish) that I could write the same way. That even if I can't write poetry, that my prose could be deep and rich and beautiful and speak out of the chambers of my heart, right into others' hearts.

But I sit with my fingers poised over the keyboard, or twirling a pen above a blank page, and what comes out is my usual light chatter instead. Even when I am writing for myself, that doesn't change, so it isn't that I'm afraid to expose my inner self to others. Or is it that, is it that I have hidden myself away from others for so long that it's become an ingrained habit, something I can't break even for myself?

This post here is more stream-of-consciousness than I usually write. It's about as close to poetry as I get. I do have a poetry blog that I started several years ago in an attempt to develop a more poetic side, but it's been gathering dust for many months. Maybe I should start working on that again?

I don't want to stay in the shallows, with my writing or with my life. I'm not afraid to dive into the unknown deeps when it comes to my life. I shouldn't be afraid of stretching out with my writing, either. Light entertainment is fine, and even good, at times, but I don't want that to be all I ever write. I want to make people think, and feel, with my writing. I want to use my writing to convey at least a part of the beauty and wonder I find in this world, this life.

Maybe I just need to take a deep breath, and dive right in. No fear.

I wrote this over a period of a couple days, but I have not edited anything (well, aside from a few spelling errors). An attempt to stay raw and not polish the truth away from my words.

Happy INDIE-giving!

Funny, when I signed up to join this Blogfest, I didn't think that I would have already joined the ranks of independent published authors! I expected to still be a "wanna-be." Just goes to show you can still surprise yourself sometimes.

I surprised myself yesterday, too, when I had my first ice dance lesson in twelve years. Oh, I was sore when I got off the ice, but overall? I felt AWESOME. I expected it to be so much more difficult than it turned out to be. I remembered so much more than I thought I would, and following the pattern, keeping my center, all that - challenging, but nowhere near as impossible as I was expecting. The moral of the story (to imitate the White Queen)? Never hold back from doing something just because you think it's going to be hard! If you really want it, go for it, and don't give up, and you might just be amazed at how much you are able to accomplish!

I am so thankful for this opportunity to get back to something I have loved so well for my entire life. Thankful, too, for the opportunity to publish my stories - writing is something else I have loved my entire life. I have dreamed for almost that long about being published, and to be able to achieve the first step of that dream - publishing a short story - is amazing. It is nothing I take for granted.

And neither are any of you! I am truly grateful for all the friends I have made in this little corner of the web. Writing would not be anywhere near so much fun without the community and support we all give each other.

And to show that thankfulness in a little more tangible manner, I'm offering TWO giveaways. One, my short story, naturally!

Justice's Mask: Cassandra James finds the line between right and wrong blurs when a Loyalist spy is unmasked at her eighteenth birthday party.

This story was a major departure from my usual writing genre, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would love to share it with one of you, too! Edited to add: Alex asked if this was an e-book. Yes, it is! Thanks to Smashwords, it is available in Kindle, Epub (which works for iBooks, Kobo, Nook, Sony, and more), PDF, or even just as online viewing. Thanks for bringing that point to my attention, Alex!

My other offering is a $10. Etsy gift card. I love Etsy, the global marketplace for independent artisans. This is my second year of ordering personalized ornaments for the littles through Etsy, and I think it's going to become a family tradition! Etsy is now offering gift cards for many shops, which I think makes for a fantastic gift or giveaway.

No hoops to jump through or forms to fill out for these two giveaways - just leave a comment letting me know which one you're interested in, and next Monday I'll draw one name out of a hat for each!

Thank you all for being you. You're all fantastic people, every one of you! And for more wonderful giveaways, check out the Indelibles blog!

Published!

Wednesday afternoon. Feeling frustrated with everything. Election over, but people still being completely illogical, ungracious, and unkind. Stories needing editing, but nothing moving forward with already-edited stories to encourage me to keep up with the rest. Children, as always and forever, needing me constantly, no matter how much I've already done.

Nothing earth-shattering, nothing that ought to bother me, just lots of little gnat bites adding up to ferocious annoyance.

Something snapped. I put a movie on for the kids, went into Carl's study with the door open so I could still hear them if (when) they needed me. Brought up a basic photo-editing program, and turned one of my photographs into a book cover. Went onto Smashwords and read their book on basic formatting. Went to Amazon and read their directions. Implemented their suggestions.

In the middle of all this, talked to my husband, who was also having a frustrating day. We commiserated with each other, I went back to my formatting. Movie ended, kids ended up in the study with me, playing while I worked, me trying to answer their questions and respond to their comments while still getting accomplished what I needed.

Called Carl on his way home from work. Told him he was no longer allowed to be in a bad mood. "Why?" he asked.

"Because," I said. "I am officially a published author. And that's huge."

And it is.

It may be "just" a short story; it may be "just" self-published, it may be offered "only" in ebook form right now, it may not have a "professional" cover ...

but it's mine. And it's published. And I am over the moon. I've dreamed of this moment almost my entire life, and I finally made that dream a reality.

Justice's Mask, by Louise Ayers. Available at Amazon and at Smashwords.

Apparently I should snap more often!

Huge thanks to Laura, my fantastic editor, as well as Rockinlibrarian and Amo Vitam, who gave me wonderful and enormously helpful critiques. Thank are also due to all of you, who have encouraged me and walked along this road with me. This is just the beginning!

My Joy

Ten years ago, if you'd asked me where my life was headed, I would have told you a fabulous tale of living and writing abroad, traveling all over the place for my stories, coming home when necessary to either work at a steady job for a while or just recharge my batteries. There might have been orphanage work mentioned in that saga, too.

Eight years ago, I almost sheepishly got married and accepted that my life was flowing in a different direction from what I had planned.

Five years ago ... well, five years ago, this happened:

My life has turned out so different from what I thought it would be, and so much more fulfilling than I could have imagined (even if at times it seems absolutely numbing and stultifying - even at those times, I KNOW that it is all worth it.

Happy fifth birthday, my darling Joy. Your life is the very best story I could ever have a hand in writing, and I am so thankful for the privilege of being a co-author in your living epistle.

One year

Two years

Three years

Four years

Last month. We haven't had a chance to do her five-year photo shoot yet. Later today!

I am a writer. I am a mom. It's taken almost five years, but I'm finally learning the two are not incompatible.

My priorities have shifted since becoming a mom, but who I am at the core has not. Motherhood just stripped away the nonessentials.

These last five years have been a wild ride. I can't even fathom what the next five will bring, but I'm excited to live it, and watch it unfold.

It may be Joy's birthday today, but I'm the one receiving the gift. Every day for five years.

Different Kind of Schedule

Continuing (and, I think, finishing) with my theme on scheduling over the last few weeks ...

Last week, I sat down and sketched out a basic goal list for the next six months, year, and two years. And then I handed it to my engineer-minded husband and said "Here, put this into a spreadsheet for me!"

I don't work well with vague goals. Neither do I work well with tight, narrow, put-lots-of-pressure-on goals. So this sort of thing tends to go much better for me. Carl and I were talking Friday morning about my spending/saving habits: from childhood, I've always been a saver, but only when I have specific goals. Whether it be a porcelain doll, or a Lego pirate ship, or buying the Kirsten American Girl doll for my sister as a Christmas present, or tickets to the World Figure Skating Championships for my dad and me, or a trip to teach VBS in the West Indies, or my first car, I can scrimp and pinch like mad for months to years in order to save for those goals.

Pride and joy of my collection for many years.

http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/6268_Renegade_Runner

Without a goal, though, I spend like mad, without even thinking about it. And if the goal is too overwhelming (like, say, "we need to save all the money we possibly can for the next five years so Carl can do seminary," without set parameters of how much that will take or how long that will last), I also tend to spend recklessly, because it's too much for me to really hold in my mind.

My life goals - and especially writing goals - tend to follow that same pattern. I got overwhelmed this summer by trying to keep to too tight and narrow a writing schedule. Five short stories and a novella to publish myself between May and September! (and here it is the middle of October, and I'm still working on them)

But just to write and work toward publication without having any kind of set goals or time frame is too vague, and it's too easy for me to start frittering away my time, just like I fritter money without a set goal for saving (wow, I am revealing all sorts of my bad habits to you guys today).

So instead, I've set specific but modest goals for a specific but large space of time. And already I'm feeling more motivated. Now when I sit down to the computer, instead of wondering dispiritedly what's the point in working on anything, and do I feel like editing or starting something new?, I can check out my goal list for the next six months and find hey, if I want to meet this goal, I need to do this, and those other things I've been wondering about, well, I don't need to fret about them until closer to the one-year mark. First things first!

Plus I get to feel more business-like about my approach to writing this way, and that, I think, is a good thing. It doesn't kill the creativity, just focuses it!

How do you keep yourself on track?

Help! I've Fallen ...

... into a writing slump, and I can't get up!

Although that's not as entirely true as it was this weekend. This weekend I received back the first beta read on my historical fantasy adventure, and it was so encouraging. Not just because she said nice things about my main characters and overall story (although that was awesome), but because she provided me with some solid things I could work on instead of the nebulous "something about this isn't right" that had been floating around my brain for the last few months. So now I'm getting excited to get back into editing.

Aside from that, though, I have been having problems. I have very minor edits to make on the three shorts closest to being publication-ready. I am almost finished with the major edits on the novella. The two spy shorts still need work, but I don't feel guilty about putting those on the back burner until I've finished my spy research.

So I've really no reason to be in a slump. Everything is moving along - slowly, true, but still moving. I've even started working with cover designers for the three almost-ready shorts!

And yet, and yet, and yet.

To be frank, homeschooling is kicking my butt. None of this is complicated stuff (I'm doing kindergarten and preschool, for heaven's sake), and my girls are eating it up, but I find myself struggling every day to stick to a schedule, to follow the lesson plan (we were at the library on Saturday and I suddenly realized with panic that I had NO IDEA what books I was supposed to pick up for this week's school, because I'd forgotten to check the lesson plan for this week). It will get easier (my mantra!), I know. I'm hoping by November to finally have my feet under me.

And it's going well, for the most part. We're getting together with a couple other homeschooling families once a week. Joy is reading everything she can get her hands on; Grace is consistently recognizing the alphabet and getting better with phonics; both of them love numbers ("Math is my FAVORITE," Joy tells me enthusiastically, every single day); Joy will happily spend hours covering any blank surface she can find (including the walls) with pictures as she teaches herself to draw; we go through the house and point out shapes of everything; we read and talk and do basic science projects and look at famous art pieces and listen to classical music ... they are eating it up. And when I can keep myself on track, I love it, too. I just get derailed way too easily.

And when the homeschooling gets overwhelming, everything else goes by the wayside, too. Especially writing!

I am seeing glimmers of hope. Aside from the aforementioned beta-read-encouragement, I was able to get a few hours to myself this weekend just to sit and breathe and recharge - something essential to this introvert mamma who is constantly surrounded by daily clamor of two little people always, always needing her (and occasionally one larger person, when he's home from work). I picked up Grace's quilt last night and made considerable progress on that while watching Once Upon a Time and Revenge (which last is actually boring me and I'm not planning on watching anymore - why is there no Downton or Sherlock on Sundays at nine right now??), which I had been procrastinating terribly on ever since the Olympics. I even pulled out my in-progress felt leaf banner I started making last year and never finished, and made HUGE strides on that (my goal is to get it done in time to use as decorating for Joy's birthday in November). I've been able to think about my stories without flinching.

And I got up almost a full hour before my littles this very morning, which allowed me some time to read my Bible, pray, write a blog post, breathe, and think. Always a good way to start the week!

So there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just hoping the tunnel doesn't twist and curve TOO many more times before I get there!

How do you get yourself out of slumps - writing or otherwise? If you are a typically disorganized person, how do you force yourself to stick to a schedule (my schedule is deliberately basic and simple, and yet I STILL can't seem to follow it)? Any homeschooling parents out there with any advice for me in getting through this first year with my sanity intact?

Holly Grayson, Alleluia ...

One of Joy's favorite songs is "All Creatures of our God and King." She will go around the house humming it for hours, breaking into words only at the "alleluia, alleluia" part.

Grace, being three, likes to imitate her sister in all things, so when Joy starts caroling "Alleluia, alleluia," Grace immediately joins in.

Only her alleluias don't always sound the way they're supposed to. From Grace, it sounds more like she's singing, "Holly Grayson, Holly Grayson ..." (Or, technically, "howwy gwayson," because she's still working on her "l"s and "r"s.)

After I checked all their books and TV shows to see if she was singing about some character (she wasn't), I decided it was just a trick of her hearing alleluia slightly differently, pronouncing it more differently yet, and my ear trying to arrange her nonsense syllables into something that makes sense.

Then I started thinking about what a good name Holly Grayson was for a book character, decided I'd use it sometime.

A couple days later, I decided Holly had long, dark brown hair, and either blue or hazel eyes.

Few days after that, I knew she was strong-willed and sharp-witted, often speaking without thinking, but with a warm heart underneath.

An investigator, I realized shortly thereafter. Not an ordinary investigator, either, but either a paranormal or supernatural one.

Nope, I decided a short time later. Time-traveling investigator, working for the InterGalactic Time Police (what, you didn't know about them? Oh, they exist, my friends.), except they only let her stay on because of her ability to always get results. They don't like the way she flouts their rules and doesn't always respect authority. You can't fire your top investigator for being a smart-mouth, though, so she stays on, even though they're always looking for reasons to get rid of her.

Then I decided that her time-traveling machine broke down on her last trip, trapping her in the Victorian Era until she is able to fix it, and that she uses her skills and abilities to help those who can't help themselves - in fact, that becomes her agency's motto. Holly Grayson Investigations: We help those who can't help themselves.

Saturday afternoon, I caved and started writing the story that landed her in the Victorian Era. It's going to be novelette or novella length, I'm not sure yet. I'm having so much fun with it.

Hey Grace, got any more songs you want to mangle? Just imagine the stories you could inspire!

This is somewhat how I imagine Holly. No talking lions, though. At least not yet.

Palace by the Sea

I read Eva Ibbotson's The Secret of Platform 13 last week, and thoroughly enjoyed it. How have I never read anything of hers before? And why do I keep saying that about all these fantastic writers? I suppose it might be considered a good thing, though - if I had found all of them when I was a kid, I wouldn't be getting these fantastic discoveries now.

At one point in the story, she mentions that the king and queen of the Island don't live in a fancy palace with uncomfortable thrones, but in a "low white house on a curving beach on golden sand studded with cowrie shells". I loved that idea. I loved it so much that it sparked a little snippet of a story on its own. This snippet will probably never grow to be a full-grown story, but that's okay. I had fun writing it, and who knows? Maybe someday it will find its way into a bigger tale.

The queen waited expectantly. 

It was a lovely scene, to be sure. The deep azure sea rippling in the playful wind, the pale golden sands turning gradually to grey and white pebbles and finally to long grasses, the long, low, sprawling house nestled back amongst the willow trees as the land slowly turned to field and then forest. Beautiful, but something wasn’t right. 

Colin turned slowly in place, eyes wide as he searched for the missing piece.
“Something troubles you, friend?” the queen asked. The sea breeze tossed her long brown hair over her shoulders and across her face. She brushed it aside with a smile. 

“Where’s the palace?” Colin blurted. She looked blank. “The castle? Where you live?” 

The queen’s laugh rippled through the air. “Why, here!” She motioned at the rambling white house. “What are these other buildings of which you speak?” 

“Well, um,” Colin stumbled. “I, uh … oh, wait! Is this your retreat? Where you come to escape the affairs of state? Your true home is in the city?” 

Her smile turned puzzled, though she was as polite as ever. “City? I do not know these words, friend. Here is where I live, I and all others who need a home. Some stay on permanently, some move on to create their own homes after a time, but all are welcome. Our ‘affairs of state,’ as you call them, do not happen in only one place. How could they, when the kingdom spreads so wide? I and my helpers travel where we are needed, tending what needs to be tended, and when the time comes to rest, we return here until we are called forth again. Is this not how it works in your world?” 

Colin snorted. “Not exactly.” It seemed an awfully naive way to conduct a kingdom—but he had to admit that all of Queen Molly’s subjects, and the queen herself, seemed perfectly happy. 

Maybe there was something in it after all. 

“Most sensible,” Aunt Agatha said. Colin jumped. He hadn’t noticed his aunt and the rest of the entourage joining them. 

Aunt Agatha set her basket down in the sand with a thump. “Who wants a palace anyway? Just more rooms to clean. And thrones? Horrid, lumpy, unapproachable things. No, your way is much better, my dear.” She bestowed a rare smile on Queen Molly, who bowed graciously in return. 

Colin felt his ears turning red. Trust Aunt Agatha to patronize a queen! Granted, Molly was very young to be a queen (and very plain, his inner voice whispered), but still. Aunt Agatha, he suspected, would patronize the Emperor in Rome were that gentlemen ever unlucky enough to have her travel back through time and meet him. It was How She Was.

Scrambled Egg Writing

There are about as many ways to prepare scrambled eggs as there are cooks. Last week with my mother visiting, we had scrambled eggs every morning for breakfast. Some mornings I made them, some mornings Mom did, and one morning Carl did.

Carl barely mixes the eggs at all, cooks them in butter, adds no salt or pepper. Mom mixes them thoroughly, adds milk, salt, and pepper, and cooks them in bacon grease. I mix slightly, add salt, pepper, and marjoram, and cook them in either butter or grease.

They're all eggs, they all taste different, they all reflect the cook, and they're all delicious.

You see where I'm going with this, right?

There are so many different styles of writing. Even within the same genre, everyone writes a little differently, puts a little unique twist on the way to tell the story. You can try to imitate someone else exactly, and maybe the story will read okay, but it won't be you.

There are a lot of "rules" for cooking. One thing I learned from the truly marvelous cooks in my life is that rules are meant to be learned and then ignored at your discretion. Hold too tightly to them, and you'll never be more than a mediocre cook. To really make food that tastes grand, do it the way that suits you best. Scramble those darn eggs the way you like them, even if nobody else does it like that, and even if it's against the rules. Some people may not like them, but that's okay, too.

Learn the "rules" of writing. Then break 'em where you need to in order to write the story your way. Some people may read it and complain about you not doing things the "right" way, but that's okay. There isn't one right way. Just ask Shakespeare. He certainly wasn't following rules.

Sometimes the eggs will stick and burn, or your hand will slip and you'll dump too much salt in, and sometimes maybe you'll try cooking them a different way and find that it's better, or at least fun for a change.

Sometimes the story will flop spectacularly, or you just won't be able to make all the various elements come together in a cohesive whole, and sometimes you'll try a different style and have a lot of fun with it, maybe even figure out a way to incorporate the new with the old.

If you fail, you scrape the frying pan into the trash, you hit "delete" on the document, you push up your sleeves and you start again, learning from your mistakes and sometimes, the best of times, even laughing at them.

And you get better. Always. Just so long as you keep trying.

Some days the bread loaves turn out perfectly ...

And sometimes they meld into each other to become one big lump. Yep. It happens. Still bread. Still tasty.

Everyday Writing

Yesterday morning after church, Carl stayed inside chatting with friends while I kept an eye on the kids in the little playground in the courtyard. After a few moments of watching and thinking, I reached into my purse, pulled out my pen and the sheaf of papers I'd shoved in earlier ... and started scratching out the basic outline for my next novelette.

And then I had to laugh at myself. Yes, I'm a writer all right. Even with having to take a break when Grace and another girl had an disagreement on the slide (the other girl lost, but Grace was the one who came away in tears), even when I texted Carl to say Where are you, the girls are getting restless and I'm melting in the sun, even though there were people all around that I could have been talking to ... I was thinking about characters and setting and plot, and getting down as much of it as I could.

My kids already know what editing is, as well as outlining, plotting, and all the rest. They hear me talk about it, they even ask me about it now. Joy draws pictures and makes up stories about them as she draws. Grace plays with her toys by acting out stories with them. When we stopped at the drugstore to get a birthday card for their friend today, I walked out with a card, fresh pencils and colored pencils for the girls, and new post-it notes for me, since I can never find Carl's when I need to use them for story notes.

Somewhere along the line this summer, I've started treating my writing more seriously. It's always been my passion; now it's my business as well. It's becoming an essential part of our family life, just as Carl's studies did back when seminary became more than just a "someday dream" and moved into a serious "in the next few years plan." It's not taking over anything, it's just entwining into our everyday lives and activities.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lists, Part the I'm Too Lazy to Check

OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem. Had to get that out of the way first. I am so thrilled for the Olympics. I was going to make my list this week all links to articles on the Olympics, but a few other things caught my eye as well, so it ended being just as eclectic a mix as usual.

To start off, though, here's a guide to some Olympians to keep an eye on, via the lovely people at Forever YA

Speaking of people to watch, have you heard about the woman who is eight months pregnant and competing? At eight months, all I was doing was waddling and moaning. Impressive, madam!

This is cool. That's all.

I was a flagbearer for part of the Olympic Torch relay in 2002. It was the most amazing experience - I can just imagine the thrill in London for this final stretch.

Speaking of cool ... I want a garden shed just so I can paint it like this one. Except I want a K-9 in front of it instead of a Dalek.

Pixar, storytelling, and Legos. What's not to love?

This publishing road map from YA Highway is AWESOME.

Part of me wants to be snarky about JK Rowling's planned tree houses for her kids and say "why not build a public playground this awesome?" but really, she's earned it, and I know when I was a kid, I would have adored a playhouse like this, so all in all, I think it's great.

This post from Shannon Hale's tumblr made me want to weep. Especially the last line. No kid should be made to feel like an outcast based on the books he OR she reads.

This also made me weep (for real), but for an entirely different reason. Joanna writes with such beauty and truth, and her words and photographs always pierce my heart. She's also one of my very dearest friends.

And finally, to end on a high (or possibly low) note, I give you three of USA's future Olympians. Our country rests in excellent hands, my friends: